Tourettes Syndrome and Us: Part One

I received a call around 7 pm, my son Buddy's MRI had been earlier in the day. It was a routine MRI because Buddy had been having migraines, and for several months had been having horrible tantrums where he threatened to hurt himself. He was three. I didn't expect anything from the MRI for several days. Then the call came and they said "There are some abnormalities, and we'd like to send him to..." That's where I quit listening.

Terror was written across my face. My heart was in my stomach, tears were pouring, but I couldn't make a sound. Inside my head I sounded like a strangled cat, but to the woman on the other end of the phone I said "uh huh, uh huh. Thank you." Somehow Buddy knew that it had to do with him, and he ran screaming from the room.

As soon as I got off the phone I chased him down, where he was beating his face with his fists, and screaming. I had to physically restrain him. He was upset that i had been crying, and he was worried there was something wrong. I told him "No buddy, I'm crying because I'm so happy! They said your pictures were so cool that they want to show them to other doctors, and they might want to take more because your brain is so special." That calmed him down, and to this day he will tell people about his special brain.

Buddy had always been a challenging child. Before I ever tested, I knew I was pregnant, and I was in pain.  Excruciating, bone crunching, fire burning pain. I told my husband that it was either the worst cycle of my life, or I was pregnant. A few days later, one year to the day that we met, we found out we were expecting. As newlyweds, we had been trying to add to our family, so we were thrilled, but the next nine months were horrible. The pain was daily, and no one could find a cause for it.  He didn't move regularly, at least not where I could feel him, and by the time 35 weeks rolled around I was begging my doctor to put me into a wheelchair. I was taking Vicodin multiple times a day, just to barely function, and trying to take care of a two year old at the same time.

At 39 weeks I went into labor, and things progressed normally for about 14 hours.  My doctor was ready to send me to the hospital, but wanted my contractions to be a little closer together.  We were at ten minutes, she wanted seven. Being that we lived two hours from the hospital she didn't want to wait too long for us to come in.  I was anticipating going to the hospital that night, but my contractions tapered off, and then stopped completely. Before you say it was braxton-hicks, this was my second baby, the contractions had kept coming regardless of if I was resting or active, and even while eating/drinking water, and I was making progress. So the contractions stopped, and I got some rest. What took me longer to notice was that the baby was no longer moving.

By the next afternoon I had realized the baby wasn't moving, but my husband was hesitant for us to go in.  We were being induced the next morning, and he didn't want to sit at the hospital all night for nothing. He rationalized that the baby was probably tired, I had been having contractions consistently all day the day before, and I had never been able to feel him move that much before. He tried to comfort me, but my doubts lingered.  That night I had a dream where we went in, but our baby was gone, we were too late.

The next day did not go as planned.  I'll spare you all the details, but suffice to say that the lack of movement was indeed a sign of distress. He wasn't moving at all, and he had a low heart rate when we got to the hospital.  We made an attempt at a normal delivery, but soon the doctor was running into the room to take me in for an emergency c-section.  He had the cord wrapped around his neck three times, and a knot in his cord. He also had bad jaundice.  Otherwise, he seemed to be a normal baby.  The first 24 hours with him I remember very little of, except that he was such a wonderful baby.  Then he started crying, and he didn't stop.

Stay tuned for Part Two in this series.

**Disclaimer: This is my truth, as I lived it, and I remember it. Spammy comments, or comments rejecting my truth will be deleted.

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